You Give Love A Bad Name

So I'm headed to a pre-Valentine shindig tonight for the Yelp Elite Squad*. There'll be free tequila (which, unfortunately, I do not drink) and free Mexican food (three words that normally don't bode well for one's digestive system), along with hundreds of drunken, horny Yelpers.

This would probably play out better for me, romantically** speaking, if I didn't already know most of these people. Who dates their friends? I prefer to date strangers, so that they don't know where I live and it's easy to fake my death to explain my failure to return their calls.

Truthfully, I don't feel the need to hook up with someone because of some arbitrary holiday, mostly because every day for me is an arbitrary holiday if I'm having sex. Despite that, I got a haircut and shaved my legs and will be wearing a dress. Hope and lust spring eternal.

* I feel like a douchebag just typing that.

** And by "romantically," of course, I mean "carnally".