High Class Conversations Part II

Michael arrives 30 minutes early to my house for dinner and Lykke Li Azure Ray concert, finding me freshly-showered, wearing nothing but a towel, steam cleaning a chair

Michael: Hi. I'm early.

Me: You're lucky I'm not naked. I usually discard the towel after the shower.

Michael: People can see right into your living room windows when they walk by!

Me: *shrugs* Eh, who looks up here anyways?

Michael: WELL, I WILL BE FROM NOW ON.

High-Class Conversations, Part I

Corazon: I had a BLT on a waffle.

Me: That sounds kind of gross.

Corazon: They used spinach instead of lettuce.

Me: Hmm, that actually sounds better. Plus it had bacon on it; I'll eat anything that has bacon on it.

Jenny: I'd eat pussy if it had bacon on it!

Me: NOTE TO SELF...