The Bachelor

GB is out of town for the next few days, and while I do miss him, there's a joy in being all by myself, doing exactly as I wish. Which mostly involves not wearing pants (which I can do even when he's home, fortunately) and playing with my Wii. (I also play with the homophone of my Wii pretty frequently when he's away.)

And while I won't say I'm exactly a slovenly person, let's just say I only make the bed because he prefers it that way, and I'm not bothering to wash the dishes tonight. (Though honestly, I do feel lucky to date someone who doesn't believe in leaving dirty dishes in the sink overnight.) To my credit, I do still flush even when I'm by myself. Even when it's just number one!

I love being part of a couple; in fact, I can't imagine my life any other way anymore. But is there anything wrong with reveling in fake singlehood (without all the wild sex that used to entail) for a few days? (Okay, occasional wild sex. And mostly with myself.)

I don't think so. Now pass me a beer and hand me my Rock Band guitar.

Tricksy

At GB's request, I have pulled an evil but amusing prank on his boss. Let's hope this turns out well.

I Love Lucy

I believe I already mentioned that I had the best birthday EVER (I feel oddly like Kanye typing that) but I did not mention that part of that best-ness was related to GB's gift to me, which I only just received last week.

HE BOUGHT ME A BIKE!



Yes, I already had a bike, Chuck, who was very good at getting me where I wanted to go, despite being a little cheapy Target bike. But GB firmly believed that I'd be happier with a bike better suited to the type of riding I like to do (road biking, mostly at night) and so for my birthday, he wrapped up a Trek catalog and told me to pick one. Pretty damn awesome, no?

We went shopping a week or so ago to check out sizing and styles; I was pretty sure I wanted a hybrid. I ended up with a Trek 7.5FX that I have named Lucy. She's red, she weighs practically nothing, and she rides like a dream. Also she has a bell! I've already ridden 40 miles in the less than five days I've owned her. I adore Chuck, and he'll always be the bike that first made me really enjoy riding, but wow, I love Lucy.

Word Nerd

I have admitted before to being an enormous geek who loves public radio. One of the shows I adore and have always wanted to see live is Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me! I was ecstatic when I found out they were coming to the Pasadena Civic Auditorium (a scant five-minute walk from my pad), less so when I saw the ticket prices.

However, I finally broke down last week and bought two tickets, justifying it by calling it my birthday present to myself (which is also how I justified a 90-minute massage on Monday, come to think of it). Fortunately, my favorite person (who I shall simply call GB from here on out), who is always down for anything, was free to join me and excited about it, despite never having heard the show.

The taping was last night and it was AWESOME. Bill Davis, the president of SCPR, welcomed everyone and introduced some public radio luminaries in the crowd, including Tess Vigeland, Alex Cohen, and then...KAI RYSSDAL, THE HOTTEST MAN ON NPR. Yes, I squealed like a lovestruck teenager, much to GB's amusement. Imagine then my excitment when I learned that the guest playing "Not My Job" would be TONY HAWK. Holy crap, it was like a night filled with the sexiest men alive! (That does include GB, who is the only one I was able to bring home with me after the show.)

There's nothing quite like erudite, literate humor, though to my delight, last night's taping also included more slightly dirty double entendres than I recall in previous shows. (And Peter Sagal actually said "boobs" which made me giggle like a ten-year-old boy.) And then at the end everyone got a free ChicoBag from Subaru! See, it totally pays to be a nerd.

Party Like It's Your Birthday

Dear God, I have never had a birthday quite so good as this one. I have already been warned it's all downhill from here.

The weekend started with a surprise date on Friday night. (SHOCKING NOTE: The location of the date was the surprise, and not the fact that I actually had a date. [W00t!]) I swooned when I learned where we were heading - the Culture Clash 25th Anniversary which was one of the coolest things EVER, and my wonderful date even laughed at all the jokes that were in Spanish despite not understanding what the hell was being said. Truly, he is the awesome. We also had super-delicious tacos from the Border Grill truck before the show - and OMFG, that is some good shit they sell. Expensive, but delicious! Much like me. I highly recommend the cilantro chicken taco, crispy Baja fish taco (holy crap, so yummy!), poblano quesadilla (MINDBLOWINGLY GOOD), and the churro bites. The only thing I wasn't crazy about (besides the line) was the lemonade, which was too sweet.

Saturday we went on a hike at Chantry Flat down to Sturtevant Falls and finished off with a delicious beer at Adams' Pack Station before parting ways for a couple of hours (he went riding; I saw The Time Traveler's Wife at the Academy). We came back together for dinner at one of my favorite places, Tarantino's here in Pasadena.

Sunday - the big day, aka Vice Girl's birthday - was pre-planned; we went to Disneyland! I used my free birthday pass and a $50 gift card, so it was fairly reasonable in terms of cost. PLUS! Thanks to the fabulous Corazon, I knew that we could get free! parking! because it was my birthday! FREE! That's my favorite price! We had so much fun. Space Mountain is still the BEST RIDE EVER but Splash Mountain remains a close second. The Haunted Mansion also remains the best place in the park to cop a feel. (Or have a feel copped, as the case may be.) We rounded out the day with dinner at Pizzeria Mozza. Ohhh, butterscotch budino!

Finally, I took the day off today and though I spent half the day waiting for a furniture delivery, I was able to spend an hour with my favorite person* and then finish off my four-day extravaganza with an amazing massage from Kevin at AcuSpa. And now, I'm heading to bed. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

* I think he needs a blog nickname. I can't just keep calling him "my date" and "my favorite person", can I? And I don't really think it's fair to just put his name up on here. Suggestions are welcome.

Buddy, I'll Show You Offensive

Seriously? This vaguely Georgia O'Keefe-ish Absolut ad should offend me?

People are SO SENSITIVE about giant fake vaginas. Sheesh.

One More Reason I'm Going to Hell

So I saw a pregnant lady leaving Peet's this morning with a cup of coffee and my first thought was, "Does that woman not care for her unborn child? Out in this terrible smoky air, drinking coffee?" And then I noticed she was driving a shitty Taurus and I thought, "Oh, I guess she doesn't."

High Class Conversations Part II

Michael arrives 30 minutes early to my house for dinner and Lykke Li Azure Ray concert, finding me freshly-showered, wearing nothing but a towel, steam cleaning a chair

Michael: Hi. I'm early.

Me: You're lucky I'm not naked. I usually discard the towel after the shower.

Michael: People can see right into your living room windows when they walk by!

Me: *shrugs* Eh, who looks up here anyways?

Michael: WELL, I WILL BE FROM NOW ON.

Internetiquette

So...is it wrong to accept a friend request on Facebook from someone you kind of dated in high school simply because he's shirtless in his profile picture and so ripped you want to eat frozen yogurt off his naked body?

I'm just curious.

Enlist in the Infinite!

I saw this sticker plastered on a power box across the street from Powell's in Portland.



I actually wouldn't have noticed it except there was a somewhat crazy drawing of a cow underneath it:



When I noticed the sticker, it made me giggle (because what's funnier than a stick figure being bombarded by microwaves?) and then look closer. Being a nerd, I took a picture and then Googled the telephone number, which led me to The Jejune Institute.

"The Jejune Institute aims to maximize human potential through the continuing advancement of socio re-engineering methods across the geopolitical realm. We accomplish this through financial support, independent research, and experimental initiatives developed through our many international facilities."

I'm ready to be inducted. Who's wants to go up to San Francisco with me for our free introductory workshop?